am i numb_.jpg

before slumber, there is light

Words by Rina
Art by Julianna Montenegro

if i were to die
i will tell the world
that truth cannot bring back the dead
nor can tears reverse the making of my coffin.

i will tell them to let the sadness
sit in their throat,
growing and growing
until they are in dire need of air
of purpose

but what i will not tell them
is to heed in the presence of death
and although people live to save themselves
and that death is an unwanted companion-
we must never
pray to the gods a longer time
and kneel in front of the altar
like a sinner in a church
but to carry on and brush the dust off their pants
and atone for their shortcomings with the things that set them free

if i were to die
and the unknown creeps in me like stained blood
i will tell the world to not bother with death
and place a period to my life

forget me
walk away
do not glance at my lifeless body
for you will attend more people in funerals
rather than in weddings

i will tell you to live
and let go of the red thread that connects our fate
and sew your own
because if i were to live again
i will follow the wind and the waves of the ocean
i will not look down and have my eyes meet the ground

and i will take my time to breathe
knowing that as death clings to everyone like a shadow
there is sunrise waiting for me after fall.

AUGUST 3, 2020
Wattpad: nahrihnah